[Cosmo helped me save time somehow...]
Me to Cosmo: I like the way you think!
Me to Cosmo: I like the way you think!
Cosmo: (tapping his head) Well, it's all in my butt.
[Cosmo found a stray piece of bacon and turned to hide the fact that he was eating it because according to headquarters that's 'stealing'...]
Cosmo: It's like working for the gestapo here with all these cameras watching us all the time.
(True story: one time this guy Michael was wearing khaki pants instead of black pants - khaki pants used to be the uniform instead of black, and he's worked for a long time and just forgot - and someone from the main office called our store and said that Michael had to leave and change his pants. Because they saw from the camera!! Those cameras are apparently used used more often for our surveillance than our safety.)
This is a joke that Cosmo said he heard one time that was really stupid: There was this man that had a screw stuck in his bellybutton and went to seek help from this wise Indian doctor/healer, and the doctor/healer told him to face the East and say, "screw in, screw out, help me get my screw out" and then face north, west, and south and do the same thing each time and then unscrew the screw. So he did all that and unscrewed the screw in his bellybutton and his butt fell off.
After I heard it I thought you're right, that was stupid. I can't believe you told me that joke. That's not even a joke. It's just a weird story that's not even true or possible.
Also, today I was supposed to work from 10-6:30, but by 12:45 we had only had 2 deliveries, so my boss told me I could take a lunch break until we got busy again. So...shout out to Erica and Doug Oliver who graciously let me crash their Saturday family time and chill with her and her girls by the pool! I thought it would be like an hour, maybe 2 tops, but by 4:30 I still hadn't heard from my boss! So I called and she was like yeah, we've only had 2 more deliveries since you left. You don't have to come back in.
Obviously, today was fantastic. Except for I hope that Erica didn't get bored of me today and still wants to talk to me ever again in the future.
After I heard it I thought you're right, that was stupid. I can't believe you told me that joke. That's not even a joke. It's just a weird story that's not even true or possible.
Also, today I was supposed to work from 10-6:30, but by 12:45 we had only had 2 deliveries, so my boss told me I could take a lunch break until we got busy again. So...shout out to Erica and Doug Oliver who graciously let me crash their Saturday family time and chill with her and her girls by the pool! I thought it would be like an hour, maybe 2 tops, but by 4:30 I still hadn't heard from my boss! So I called and she was like yeah, we've only had 2 more deliveries since you left. You don't have to come back in.
Obviously, today was fantastic. Except for I hope that Erica didn't get bored of me today and still wants to talk to me ever again in the future.
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